these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
