3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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