well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
