It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
