What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize