you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
