Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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