so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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