that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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