and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The air was thick with penises
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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