im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
