I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize