In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
