youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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