Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
