It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
