Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
