I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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