hotel room ftw
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
