It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I look better un-naked...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
