I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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