I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
