If i come over, it means nothing
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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