I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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