Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
