I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
