Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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