mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we're making bets on your personal life
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
