M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
