best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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