I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
