What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
