I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize