im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
