Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
