Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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