I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
