Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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