Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
