Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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