I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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