She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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