Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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