I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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