Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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