what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
