maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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