I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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