you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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