dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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