I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
