I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This baby is an asshole
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
