My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
