Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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