My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
