508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
