Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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