my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize