You're my little dorito
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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