Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
