After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
