I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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