Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
